The Worst Italian Food in Arizona

Where not to go - Andiamo Bistro. We just got back from dinner at the worst restaurant in Arizona. This atrocity is located in the Albertson's shopping center at Indian Bend and Hayden in Scottsdale. Please, do us all a favor a do not waste your time there.

I could spend time talking about how ridiculously overpriced the food is, but I won't. Instead, allow me to throw a little learning at you. From the minute we entered the strip mall fronting "bistro" we felt like we were uninvited. There were 4 people huddled around the bar watching a basketball game on the tiny television. It turns out that 3 of those people actually worked there. The fourth was a kid that looked like he just left the gym.

We were shown to a table in the empty restaurant right next to the only other guests. Why bother spreading us out - that would make us feel too much at home. Water came, and eventually a waitron completely unable to make eye contact took our wine order. The overpriced swill was delivered, and our orders taken. In an effort to get out of there quickly, we ordered no appetizers or salads, heading straight to the cheaper pasta entrees. Cheap is a relative term - $18 for linguine and clams, $15 for spaghetti Bolognese. No, these were not fresh, housemade pastas as you would expect.

About a half hour later, without so much as a "How ya doin'" from the waitstaff, the hostess came out and said "Sorry, we are out of clams. Can we substitute mussels or shrimp?" Uh, sure, give me shrimp. A half an hour to figure out you were out of clams? It's not like you have multiple tables to cook for. We were the only people in the place at this point. Well, except for that sweaty kid at the bar. He kept ducking into the kitchen, playing with the food. He ended up with a big plate of something, but whatever.

So, now about 40 minutes after we sat down in this empty restaurant we received our entrees. Two gargantuan portions of horribly overcooked pasta. Here is one of the funniest parts - the "waiter" asked if we wanted cheese. Go figure, Italian restaurant with two pasta dishes on the table and all, but I digress. He goes to the kitchen, gets a dish of cheese, and proceeds to sprinkle about a tablespoon on one of the pastas. He promptly runs out. Whoops! Guess it looked like there was more in there! He up-ends the cheese dish over my plate and smacks it the back of it with his hand, asking "do you need some more?" Yes, please, I'd like just a little cheese.

The cheese debacle over, I tuck into my pasta Bolognese. Have you ever been to Sbarro? If not, you should try it. Sbarro is a 4-star restaurant compared to this place. Even a 5 year old child would know to take pasta out of the water sooner than this fraud of a chef. How can you possibly justify serving $15 pasta when the spaghetti is so water logged it looks like bucattini???

The linguine vongole was an abomination. This plate had 3 clams and 3 shrimp. There was no sauce. I think the cook poured some clam juice into a pan and added garlic salt. There ya go - white clam sauce. Please. Is this for real?

We muscled through and had to stifle a laugh when asked if we wanted anything else. I was tempted to ask for my time back, but I knew they had a hard enough time cooking. It is a wonder this place has stayed open as long as it has. Good night Andiamo - we won't be back, and you shouldn't either. This is without a doubt the worst restaurant in Scottsdale, probably Arizona.